Thursday, August 30, 2012

The Luxury of Crying

In our son's home country of Uganda, crying is not something that many children do.

No crying if they fall & scrape their knee or bump their head.

No crying if a toy gets taken away from them.

No crying if they are scared or afraid.

There is just very little crying amongst these children.

Often when they do cry, they are laughed at and ridiculed by other children or even adults.

That seems so cruel to us.  But there, it is a cultural thing.

When you are literally fighting daily for your life & the lives of those who depend on you....

When you don't know if you'll survive another child birth.....

When you don't know when you'll eat again or from where the food will come......

When you don't know when your husband will find some kind of temporary work..........

When all of these things are a constant, daily reminder of the reality of your life, then tears & crying become a luxury you can't afford.

We had noticed this with our son.

He cried about very, very few things.

Although, culturally I had known this for years, it was still shocking for me to see this lived out in my son.

He would fall & get hurt & not cry. 

Or if he did cry, it was very short-lived.

And almost never any actual tears were produced.

As he has learned to trust us for his food & daily provisions, he has begun to cry a little more.

The change has been so small that I barely noticed.

That is until today.

This morning, while he was making his bed........... which he can do all by himself!  {proud Mommy moment}........ he began crying.  I ran into his room to see what was the matter.  The comforter was all askew, & he was standing there engulfed in his red & white striped comforter.  He had a huge tear just resting under one of his little eyes.  It was ready to roll down his face!  I scooped him up, & then he just let go....... baby boy just cried a big, loud cry & clung to his Mommy.

The actual crying didn't last longer than about 60 seconds. 

But he cried!

As I was comforting him & holding him, it struck me that he was actually crying about something as "silly" as not being able to get his comforter on straight.

Life & death.

Eating or starving.

These are no longer daily realities for him!

The Lord has graciously brought him to a place of security & deep love!

And he is learning to trust his new Mommy & Daddy............. and know that he is loved & wanted!

My baby boy now has the luxury of crying!

And I couldn't be happier!!!!


  1. Bethany, your post has so moved me. You got me to shed tears this morning. I think they were more of happiness than sadness for you and your beautiful family. I would love to be a part of his next birthday to make it a special day. Please email me when you are ready to plan his party big or small and I would love to create you some printable items. It is one of the reasons I do what I do. To add happiness to a child's life and to celebrate these big milestones. I hope you have a wonderful weekend and thank you so much for stopping by my blog. ~Rebekah

    1. Aw, how sweet. Thank you, Rebekah! It'd be fun to create with you. I will certainly keep that in mind! I definitely want his first birthday party EVER to be a celebration of so many things.