This waiting game has been so hard on my heart, & I've been doing good just to get dinner on the table & the laundry done.
Even though I don't really think anything is wrong with Walker, there is still that little aggravating thought in the back of my head that sometimes pops up & says, "Well, Beffie, you're not a doctor. What if......."
I got a call this week from Walker's pediatrician with the MRI results. They found something, but there is no way to tell if this is what is causing Walker's tics........ or even be able to confirm that we are actually dealing with tics. The ped told us that what they found was "minor" and more than likely a past injury of sorts from a concussion or severe malnutrition.......... BOTH of which are highly likely. The severe malnutrition is a definite thing, & the concussion thing is very probable considering a non-baby-proofed orphanage. She told us to be sure to follow-up with our neurologist; which we are already doing. The panic-ky Mother in me asked if the findings were something we needed to pay immediate attention to, & she assured me that we were fine to keep on the schedule we are on with the neurologist. That made me feel both better & a little worse............ we still know nothing.
However, Walkie continues to be himself, which is very reassuring to me. He continues to have full conversations with me, be very engaged, play well, eat well, learning new letters, remembering well.
His tics have seemed to lessen some this week. And we've think we've noticed that when he gets really excited they seem to start up more frequently. The neurologist told us that most anything can be a trigger for an "episode" of tics --- being excited, nervous, anxious, worried, bored, concentrating, playing, etc.
I am just ready for all of this to be OVER & us have good results. I'm growing weary.
My husband said we were in a race to spend as much money as we could this month on medical bills, & it SURE does feel that way.
This was the year we decided to go with a high deductible in order to help save money for Walker's adoption.
Ha, ha, ha! The joke's on us.
However, God is kind & loving. He has provided for every single step of the way on our journey TO Walker, & I know He continues to be with us through all of this.
Despite all the unknown, the waiting, & the worry, I've had some really sweet, precious times in Bible study & prayer, & that alone has been so comforting & sustaining to me during this time. God alone is sufficient for all our needs!
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