Thursday, January 3, 2013

It's a New Year..... WHO CARES???!!! {part 1}

Well, as absolutely EvErYoNe keeps repeating, it's 2013.

Fa-La-La.  Whoop-Dee-Doo.

I'm totally under-whelmed.

Very un-thrilled.

And I don't know why all peoples EVERYWHERE (and by everywhere, I do mean Facebook & Pinterest) must continue to belabor the point.

I'm not really thrilled about it because I don't really want my life to continue to move at such a rapid pace.

I.WANT.TO.STAY.RIGHT.HERE!

It's lovely here!  And marvelous!  And precious!  And has hot chocolate!

Moving forward means facing things I just don't wanna face!

Like another birthday in my THIRTIES!

{Ugh!  I find solace, only, in knowing I'm the youngest one in almost every one of my circle of friends.  By far, one of the smartest decisions I've ever made.}

Or another wedding anniversary to my sweet & precious husband, because that means we're beginning to actually "grow old-er" together.

{I feel like a greedy, little goblin wanting more & more time with him.  He's just more precious & desirable with every passing moment, & I absolutely can't get enough.}

And I don't want to throw Walker's SIXTH birthday party in February.

{I vote he turns 1, 2, 3, or even 4, so that I can claim as mine, possess forever, and carve into my heart the years I never had with him}

So I stand here, clench my fists, square my soldiers, set my jaw, narrow my eyes, and begin to CRY............

Cry against all the un-fairness that is life!

This {sweet} life is just flying by too quickly.

I'm trying to drink life from a fire hydrant.

{and well ..... that's not a very thirst-quenching experience}

I feel like I'm grasping, enjoying, savoring these moments.

But they are just slipping through the pale, peachy flesh of my bony fingers.

However, even now a memory stirs deep inside my soul.

The humming of a familiar, yet distant refrain.

All these moments, these days full of joy & life & sweetness, they are GIFTS.

Gifts from a gracious Heavenly Father.

Gifts He has sent to show me Who He is.  To draw me to Himself.  To make me yearn for more of Him.

So Who is He?

What has He revealed of Himself in my life?

He is Sustainer!  From my growing # of years on this earth, I learn of God's sustaining power.  Of His faithfulness to His children.  How wonderfully un-changing He is!  He is remarkably the same yesterday, today, & forever!

He is Kindness!  From my years of being married to the kindest man alive, I can see God's great kindness & patience & an ever-so-quiet undercurrent of love for me in all His ways.

He is Ferocious!  From my short months as a Mommy, I have tasted of God's ferocious love for His children.  Just like we read in Walker's Jesus Storybook Bible, a "never-stopping, never-giving-up, always & forever kind of love."

And although I know most of these moments will NEVER, ever come again, I still rejoice.

Because I hear a much more beautiful melody playing............ a promise of wonder & joy & hope that will never fade away.

Oh, what a glorious day that will be!!!!

So, possibly 2013 isn't as daunting as I feared.

Maybe I can throw down my body, fling out my arms, & dig my little, navy-blue, painted fingernails into the sands of time & fully experience the moments of joy & pain & love & laughter that await me as GIFTS in the moments of the year ahead.

I know it's a little crazy.  A little too dramatic.  And gonna take more than a little effort.

But......... is there anyone who wants to join me?

{navy-blue fingernails optional}



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