Wednesday, August 8, 2012

A Memo to Mommy & Daddy

Can we chat for a minute?

Do you really think I enjoy taking an hour to eat my meal?

I know it's not fun for you, & {breaking news} it's not fun for me either.

AnNoUnCeMeNt!!!!!  I don't need to be instructed on how to eat.  I know it goes:  put food on fork/spoon - put food in mouth - chew - swallow - repeat.

What I need is a decent menu for a strapping 5 year old boy!

Let me help you here.

Please listen.

Write it down.

Tat it on your arm.


Come on!!!!  YOU don't even eat them!

Oh, & also - if you didn't receive the message clearly by me throwing up my oatmeal back into my bowl - don't EVER try oatmeal again!
I do, however, like the honey you put on the waffles & that one time, in the oatmeal.  So, I would like to request a cup of honey for my breakfast (be prepared that I might also want this for lunch) so that I may guzzle at my leisure!  If I choose to request toast with my honey, then that's great for you.  Please be thankful for the small steps!

Side note:  Please do not be aggravated if I drip this honey EVERYWHERE.  As I often say, "I am 5 year old."  And, honestly, Mom......... you're home with me all day.  I can't imagine what else you have to do!  Don't be such a disgruntled worker!

As for lunch, please don't act surprised when I ask for chicken nuggets.  I am totally onto your melodramatic "I only feed my child organics" routine.  Why did you serve me nuggets if you didn't expect me to fall head-over-heals-in-love with them?  I do not view them as a treat I get when we go out to eat.  I view them as essential to my daily food pyramid.  I'm hungry!  I'm growing!  Please feed me chicken nuggets!

And, finally, let's talk dinner.

I ask for your undivided attention here.  Unless it's Ramen noodles, I don't really plan on eating dinner.  Dinner is more of a time where I can show-off my comedy routine & make y'all laugh.  Y'all are my captive audience.  So, next time just bring popcorn & enjoy the show!

Love & sticky kisses,


Although meal times continue to be an adventure, we are learning patience & what the baby will eat!  He does eat fruit very, very well, but he's not into veggies or dairy products.  He's also not really into sweets, which is totally fab!!!!

Please tell me we're not the only parents who face(d) this mealtime adventure.


  1. Mealtimes...I usually want to throw the food on the table and run upstairs. Our girls eat great but it's a CIRCUS!!! That pretty much sums it up.

  2. My children (you know them well ) wanted peanut butter & jelly and hot dogs.

  3. I feel you on this! We go through lots of phases in our house. Weeks in which all Myers will eat is Cheerios, PB and J, and apple sauce. Jacob eats blueberries by the gallon, but won't eat veggies to save his life.